driving miss buchanan: why i'm such a backseat driver

riding in the car with my dad is terrifying. i can't tell you how many times i have sat there, wide eyed and white knuckled, positive that those were my last few moments alive. one time we were on the highway and it was just the two of us. he pulls out his map, and is studying it intently. we start drifting over into the opposite lane. i just sit there, kinda waiting for him to notice that oh guess what we are on the wrong side of the road. yeah, he doesnt notice. but what catches my attention is the huge 18 wheeler barreling towards us. i wait a couple more seconds.
"dad"
"daaaaadd"
"DAD!!!!"
he jerks his head up and swerves back into the right lane, overcompensating as usual almost putting us into the gaurdrail. "oh, thanks" he says nonchalantly. and goes back to reading his map.

another time, we were on a long drive to visit family. once again, im in the front seat. he takes out his new book, and starts reading it. while driving. on the highway. never do this while driving in heavy traffic on the highway. lets just say im lucky to be alive.